BOB Readers: My 16yr old daughter is a mother + my 18yr old daughter may never have a child of her own!

18 Mar

mother n teenage daughter- bukola oyetunji's blog
Hello Readers, how’s your week going?
You all won’t believe the mails I receive and the type of questions people ask.
Relationships can really be tough, we all need every piece of good advice we can get and most especially God’s grace.
A woman sent me a mail yesterday, it is really a touching and pathetic one. She wants all BOB readers to read and learn from her story. According to her, she decided to talk to me after reading the article I posted on this blog; MY BODY, MY PRIDE! Read https://bukolaoyetunji.wordpress.com/2014/02/28/my-body-my-pride/
Read her story below:

It is very funny how quickly things change. My story is close to the article you posted: MY BODY, MY PRIDE! After reading through I realised I am facing similar difficulties with Chidinma’s mum so I decided to share.

I am a 42 year old woman with two teenage daughters. The first one is 18 while the younger one is 16 years old. I am a widow, my husband died 5 years ago and I’ve decided not to remarry so as to be able to take good care of my children.

My girls look mature than their age and I think this is why I am in the situation I am right now. Last year, the younger one left home for about 2 weeks after sitting for her WASSCE exams. I was devastated, reported to the police and every body I could reach. Those 2 weeks were the worst for me since I became a parent. You won’t believe how delighted I was when she came back home at exactly 16 days after she left. Unfortunately, my joy was short-lived when after asking her where she had been, she told me she was with her boyfriend. Can you imagine how sad I was? A child of 15 years as at then telling me she was with her boyfriend for over 2 weeks? I was confused on what to do. Didn’t want to beat her so that she would not run back to the boy. I eventually decided to beg her to stop her waywardness and concentrate on carving out a very good future for herself. After talking to her for about an hour amidst tears that was dropping from my eyes excessively, she promised to change. Two months after this occurrence, I found out she was pregnant, oh! how helpless I felt. I thought of the shame and everything from people around us and the father’s family.
With all the courage in me, we eventually decided to keep the pregnancy. She had a baby boy first week of January this year, the boyfriend as you may have guessed denied the pregnancy!

As if this was not enough, my elder daughter who recently got admitted into a private University in the country, was rushed home last month. I Learnt she was bleeding profusely from a quack abortion that she did. I had to take her to the family hospital for better treatment, she was discharged after a week. The dilemma I am in now is that the school has suspended her, because news of what caused the bleeding got to the authorities and as if that was not enough, the doctor told me her womb had been tampered with and she stands a 30% chance of ever conceiving again.

Here I am, a widow and grandmother at the age of 42, a daughter of 16 that is already a mother, and an 18yr old out of school daughter who stands a 30% chance of having a child of her own. I feel very lonely because there’s no confidant and no one’s shoulders to shed my tears of frustrations on. I secretly blame myself for not remarrying, maybe if there was a father figure for the girls they would’ve been better behaved.

Readers, please note that I work in a well-established organisation and take absolute care of my girls with all the resources I have.
I need your prayers.

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